so young
how deceiving youth is
thinking the world is in hand
enjoying the elation that comes
from an emotion so strong
you can't explain it

just as you start to forget
emptiness and pain
the knife stabs once again
the joy is gone
as is the one that gave it

ImMaTuRe_pHiShY

Dear Jamie, I've got a letter I would like to send. 
It's lacking strings of words with punctuation at the ends.

But should I trust this dialect,
To convey the right effect?

Dear Jamie, I've got some things I'd like to set in pen.
I would have used a pencil but leads just not permanent.

But should I trust my printer's ink,
To express the things I think?

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest;
With inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say.

Dear Jamie, this envelope will represent my heart.
I'll seal it send it off and wish it luck with its depart.

And this stamp will be every action that carried my affection:
Across the air and land and sea.

But should I trust the postage due,
To deliver my heart to you?

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest;
With inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say.

Every page I tried my best to fill with something to contest;
With inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say.

I'll give you all I can,
A flower and a hand.
I hope this helps you see.
Signed, sincerely me. 

Hellogoodbye- Dear Jamie...sincerely me.

i am on the last of my stand in med hat, i finally get to go home for good and start a new school year, yay to the being home, a less enthusiastic yay for the school starting. can't wait to see everyone that i haven't been able to talk to or see over the summer. can't wait to see my mexican cowboy, uncle benny either. and chad the rockstar. well i will be happy to see almost everyone i'm sure. even my mother....maybe... haha but anyway i am bored at work once again but luckily i only have 7 more days of work left, 7 more days of pure, paid-for, boredom. so it's all good and then i get to be busy as a bee for the last week of august and the first week of september.

here is the sched. get off work on the 25th, drive the freaking ever drive all the way to stoon or possibly boytoy town. if i go to boytoy town, stay there for 1 night and then header back to stoon. then my mother's sexist boyfriend is taking a leave of absence from his stressful tennis coaching career to go to montreal, for what, i don't know. but i have to take care of said tennis business. joy....

then i have to train to volunteer at the university, yes, apparently you need training to volunteer, who knew? and then after that i get to enjoy myself for one night at the roxy where my friend's band is playing and boytoy MIGHT be singing! haha
then, immediately the day after that i am going to go camping with said boytoy. yay!!!! camping!!!! i *heart* the camping! i haven't in soo long that it is getting sad, and then when i return from 3 night camping trip i am to go actually volunteer at the university, silly grade 12's going to university, what are they thinking! and then school and hopefully my new movie guru job starts! and life is gone as we know it.

but yeah enough of that shiat! i have to pretend to be busy at work,

adios amigos!!!
love ya all,
ImMaTuRe_pHiShY

i don't understand, what took you so long? 
i thought you said that we were friends.
how could it turn out so wrong?
what comes in the end...

i didn't know that it was so hard
my words seemed to fly right through you..
why don't you want to listen
what is wrong with us...

why am i the one doing all the talking?
what do you think about this?
oh wait, you couldn't care less about us...
i've had enough

i didn't know that it was so hard
my words seem to fly right through you...
why don't you want to listen
what is wrong with us...

so i hear that i'm unimportant
didn't think that i'd find out
i'll tell you now that i don't play dumb
denial isn't the way out...

i didn't know that it was so hard
my words seem to fly right through you...
why don't you want to listen
what is wrong with us...

so i guess in the end it all turned out okay.
but how long can it last
soon you'll be just a memory
the past...

by the kayakers amazing little sister, and basically my little sister

jennakayak

This is Pink - Who Knew

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

It just reminded me heavily of an ex. But I also really like how she made the chorus sound. It's pretty sweet.

ImMaTuRe_pHiShY

hey all in la la land, i am once again trying to reach you.

i am still in the hat for another month but the past two have been gooders. my bestest friend ewin has moved into a new house with her boytoy whom i constantly get mixed up with mine. they live in a very nice basement suite and i get a room!! booyeah! so if ever i hate the rents when i return, which is more than likely to occur i will have a place of rescue in the name of a room at ewin's place.

as well, my boytoy is living in a house with all the boys which i am sure is gunna be like non-stop partay area when school once again resumes, well atleast on the weekends.

Oh and last but not least my other bestest friend the kayaker has promised me that his room is always open to me, cause sometimes the boytoy's house is locked. stupid boys.

i am actually, although i know this seems impossible to some, excited about going back to school. not only to see all the people i haven't over the summer (chad) but to also learn. i know, i know, big dork. but i am a PROUD big dork. hells yes. oh and my main goal is to try out for the badminton team. why? you say. because badminton is an amazing sport and one where, if played in a rec situation you do not need uber talent to win. hehe. so there is a chance for all the dorks out there. oh and i will be once again showing my love and passion of the water by hopefully, if all goes well, swimming once again. a thing which, since the dawn of the self-consciousness, i have not yet repeated. stupid bathing suits. but that is another matter.

i have been camping and partaying and sleeping. that was my last two months. but it was all of course overly fun.

have a gooder and i think i am going to start writing again. i feel inspired, so be prepared for a new poem or something of the such.

love you all and wish you the best of what's left of the summer,

ImMaTuRe_pHiShY

so yeah, needless to say that whenever my friends drink i am USUALLY the dd. well friday night at ezzie's last week, not soo much. yes ladies and gentlemen, mom, me got shmammered! and i mean shmammered. if you want the full story just ask stiner cause she loves to tell it or if you beg me enough i might but yeah. long story short, second time in my life that i've puked because of alcohol consumption. and i had a very good week which involved as little work as possible but still had about 36 hours of actual work. that's my wonderful job for you! haha. i have a safety meeting tomorrow, everyone in alberta is SOOO keen on being safe and practicing safe methods and shit. if sask put in plant half the methods that they have in alberta man i bet that like half the amount of people would get hurt meaning half the amount of worker's comp. YAY but not for those currently ON worker's comp, yes you sunshine.

well not much happened, stiner's family is convinced she is going out with this one boy from gull lake, which her sister and i conspired to spread the rumor, oh us devious ones. and yeah that's about all that happens. OH and happy mother's day mom. yeah i'm a day late gimme a break. nah i'm just kidding my mom doesn't read this shit, atleast i HOPE she doesn't.

well anywho this is phish signing off and have a GREAT day.

yes i still have the mcdicks worker inside me somewhere.

ps. i been going to the ymca mon-thurs. i will come back minutely more in shape, just you all wait!

immature_phishy

so i had a really long drive from s'toon to the hat but it was good, stopped for one last dq run in sask before i had to go to dq's in alberta. but we made good time and it was a fun ride. anywho! when i got to the hat i got to meet stiner's mom, her step-dad and her brother. i was honestly afraid of her brother but he turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

well then sunday came and stiner left me all alone with her family whom i'd known for a total of like 24 hours, not even. it was awkward but good fun cause i got to know them a little better. i thought it might be a good idea to actually find out where the office i would be working was so i looked it up on the map and was like oh damn i'm gunna get lost so i asked stiner's bro the deer hunter to come with me. well apparently the address in the phone book was incorrect and i was like shit i got tricked, my company doesn't even exist. so i searched her all up on the internet and found the "correct" address and finally found the place. that night, my first night there i managed to kill the internet AND flood the downstairs toilet. i think i made a VERY good impression.

so i went to work on monday and they let me read a safety thing and then sent me on the job within a half hour. now keep in mind i have NO IDEA what my job description is, i don't even know what i am. let's just say it was a fun first day. then i got told that i was to go to red deer that night. i was like...okay...thanks for the notice so i packed my bags and headed her to red deer.

there i had training camps and the most bigass hotel room possible. it had a stove and fridge and separate toilet shower from the sink and wow two bigass beds and a freaking fireplace. i mean its not like i NEED the fireplace, but i HAD one. anyway the next day training started and i got to meet a lot of people my age, which is good cause i work directly with people that are 25+ and that's kinda shittay but i made a buncha friends in red deer and they all asked me to come visit sometime. it was in general an awesome time and i got a bunch of nufies all drunk and stuff. it was sweet. but yeah i worked outdoors for like the whole week. i got sunburnt and snowed on within 24 hours. it was sooo random. and now stiner's back so we are partaying it up tonight! ezzie's in the hat! everyone, there! haha but i'm out. love and miss you all.

immature_phishy

i was dead tired so i decided to get up around 1130am, yes a wonderful time to wake up might i add. her little brother whom i'd met the night before immediately attacked me and wanted to do everything with me cause i was the "new person."

i am told later, after a wondeful breakfast of leftover lasagna at 12 that we are going to see ducky lake. on the way to ducky lake i realize that we have to walk through 3 km of field. i am currently wearing shorts....just in case you didn't know, shorts and field are not a good combination....needless to say i will not be wearing shorts anytime soon because my legs are covered in a quadrillion minute scratches.

we then went to a party with all high school students, left early and went home and watched swordfish. this leads you to right now. end of story.

join me tomorrow for the recounting of my wonderful drive to medicine hat.

immature_phishy